Sober Thoughts

Things I say, feel, and ponder.

2 tablespoons of clay a day keep the toxins away.

Long time no see… Sorry I’ve been busy.

I am trying to come up with a clever way to put this but my creative juices are fleeting me. So here it is… I Eat Clay. I can’t pin point where/why but I read that it was good for you so I did my research. Our bodies don’t absorb clay… put it on your face and it will dry up / flake off. Put it in your body (ingest) and it will attract all those harmful toxins and pass right through. So after reading a few articles/blogs for my research I went forth and purchased my own $10 bottle of Betonite clay from the Vitamine Shoppe. A bottle lasts about a month and I take 1 tablespoon in the morning and after work (the bottle says on an empty stomach). I just pour it into one of those little cups that come on cough syrup bottles and chase it with a thicker juice (Naked juice for example) because they are about the same consistency. The clay has no taste so you just have to get over the clay fact.

I’ve been doing this routine for about a month and have notices a slight increase in energy. And even though I’m consuming the clay it’s also helped out my face in regards to blemishes.

I could go into more detail about other cultures where this is normal but that’s half the fun of doing research on your own right? So take my word for it… ingesting clay isn’t as bad as it sounds. But I always encourage thorough research to set ones own mind at ease.

I have reached a new level of fandom. I will be flying in and out of Chicago for less than 24 hours to see this epic shit go down. BOOM.

I have reached a new level of fandom. I will be flying in and out of Chicago for less than 24 hours to see this epic shit go down. BOOM.

Birks are back people.  If you haven’t noticed they sprung like weeds in the last week.  I’m okay with this and need to order some asap… as soon as payday.

Earth.Day

It’s Earth Day ya’ll. I’ve been pronouncing it the same way Beyonce says surfboard. I hope you think twice before you litter because today of all days we should be thankful for the beautiful, grand, life size terrarium that we are lucky enough to live in. Amen.

#hungover

happy friday. don’t mind me… i’ll just be sitting in my cubicle trying to survive the longest day of my life while i fight this hangover and regret all the drunk texts i sent out to my crush last night. it’s miserable. whatever happened to me turning 25 and acting like a mature adult? i threw that idea out the window and decided happy hour wasn’t good enough… i needed to relive my glory days and have a full on thirsty thursday evening. what did this result in? a nice little scrap/burn under my eye because sidewalks are for chumps and tree roots are out to get me… at least there was dirt to break my fall.
so kids… lessons can still be learned / revisited even at my age. no i can’t have more than a couple drinks during the week even if they are free. and no i’m not witty while pretending to know about sports. and no drunk texts are ever a good idea. #fail
so i hope your TGIF is off to a better start than mine. it’s taking all the will power i have not to fall asleep right now. and i’ll probably be hitting up burger king later because i just have to.

don’t drink. stay in school.

25th Bday was a success.  I got to spend it with my dearest friends and even made a few new ones (featured in pic).  But alas it is time to grow up and start behaving in an adult manor.  Also, I think I saw my last ounce of metabolism leave my body so I am going to be getting back into a work out regimen now that spring has sprung.  Who’s with me?

Walk People.

So I have a new pet peeve… it’s people that shuffle their feet. As I was sitting in my cubicle this morning I hear feet shuffling/staggering over to my desk. It sounded like a drunk person attempting to walk. I was immediately annoyed and the whole time the person was talking to me I was thinking “I can’t believe that’s how this girl actually walks”.
So people… please. Strut you’re shit. I don’t mean act like every hallway is a runway. I mean pick up your feet and take adequate strides. You are an adult. Not a toddler.

Get your shit together.

Young the Giant put on a spectacular show last night at First Ave in Minneapolis. still in awe.

Excited to see this guy open for Young the Giant tonight. Commence birthday week!!

(Source: Spotify)

Smitten Kitten

Happy Monday. I know there are a lot of last minute colds going around so I hope you are all healthy and well. I, on the other hand, have been in quarantine all weekend focused on feeling better… and I’m almost there.
You guys… I have a crush. The good news is… I didn’t meet him on tinder. The bad news is… I haven’t seen him in like a week! I don’t want to go into detail because a week from now we probably won’t be talking. But just know my heart is starting to unthaw from this very cold and lonely winter.